016_The Duality of Anxiety

when i am anxious I am in one of two states. laughing or putting a barrier between me and the world.

* The Duality of Anxiety

In through the nose and out through the mouth.

*Breathe.

(I’m frozen.)

My current form no more than a shadow of my former self.

(A silhouette.)

My skin rests peppered in the near invisible cold sweat of regret of stepping past my comfort zone.

(false)

I feel like an imposter with my cover blown. Almost syndrome like but to be honest I just wanna go home.

*Breathe.

I feel like I’m failing and falling into outdated, intoxicated drunk thoughts of my self-worth in the eyes of others.

(I feel lost.)

My thoughts scattered like feathers in a fog.

The beats in my chest resonate so loud it drowns out the sound around me

(I’m underwater.)

*Breathe.

As my mouth is filled with Cotton jamming my jaw.

My hands are washed in waves as if the shore rests under my skin.

My heartbeat beats like a hummingbird in heat.

I tell myself again,

breathe;

I tell myself I’ve been here before.

I tell myself I will be here again.

I tell myself there is nothing wrong with me or having anxiety.

I tell myself all that matters in this current moment is that I can still breathe.